Wimbledon

Any excuse to see Kirsten Dunst again, right? How about in Wimbledon? Maybe not...

Coming from the same film-stable that brought us Four Weddings and a Funeral and Love Actually is Wimbledon, a movie which centres unsurprisingly on the Wimbledon tennis tournament. Peter Colt (played by Paul Bettany, last seen in Master and Commander) is an aging British tennis player, well past his heyday and quickly slipping into insignificance.

After managing to get a wild-card into the English grand-slam he meets Lizzie Bradbury (Kirsten Dunst), the next big thing in women's tennis. To very little surprise they end up "fooling around" with each other, much to the disgust of Lizzie's father and coach, Dennis (played by Sam Neil). What follows are the trials and tribulations of a whirlwind romance with a bit of tennis thrown in for good measure.

Without giving too much of the story away, Colt soon realises that his return to form must have something to do with this young and fiery new player (our first look at Lizzie is her arguing with the umpire John McEnroe style), and that he is indeed falling in love with her. Dennis Bradbury sees this relationship as a threat do Lizzie's chances and does what he can to keep the two lovers apart for his daughters sake. Now, here's the problem with this film. It's been done countless times before, and it's been executed much better over the years. The only difference here is the introduction of tennis to the mix, which doesn't really make much of a difference.

However one positive thing that I can say about the movie is the direction within the matches. While the script is as snappy as a decrepit and toothless alligator, there are just enough enjoyable visual treats to keep you sane. The match scenes really shine through; with nice slow-motion shots of the ball flying from one side to the other, as well as 3D-aided spinning angles. Also, the close ups of Colt and the shaking camera-work to display the doubt in his mind are quite clever, giving a definite sense of disorientation and stress. It's unusual to have any kind of impressive camera work in a romantic comedy and so these moments tend to stand out even more.

So now we move onto the bad parts, and where to begin? Firstly, the script; it has to be the most predictable piece of "work" I've seen in a very long time. I tell you no lie in saying that I was able to predict exactly what was going to happen 20 minutes or more in advance for the entire film, from the clumsily set-up hotel room scene where Colt first meets Bradbury, all the way to the shockingly bland ending. I referred to this movie as a romantic comedy, and perhaps I was being somewhat generous there. I think I may have smiled once in this whole film. Every joke was tired, or as obvious as the nose on your face. The comic relief of the Colt family were far from funny and the heart warming montages of the lovely couple having fun together were nothing short of tedious.

There really is nothing stand out to be said about the story, or the dialogue. No quotable quotes, no well laid one-liners, nothing. What hurt me the most about the plot was its terrible blatancy. Not only could you predict every move in the film, but the side story of the Colt's mother and father's bust up which slowly mends as he progresses through the tournament, and the use of a mysterious comet to symbolise the relationship between the two tennis stars were so badly stitched into the script that I can only assume they were thought up at the last minute to make a 30 minute TV show into a full length motion picture.

The acting isn't all that bad it must be said, but there really are no stand outs from a respectable enough cast. Bettany does a decent job and I have no doubt in him becoming one of the main players in British cinema, but I couldn't help feel that he was doing his best Hugh Grant impression for the whole thing, mumbling and stuttering in that charmingly middle-class English way. Dunst pretty much does what she's supposed to do, although does seem slightly out of place as the bad girl of tennis, perhaps because of her more usual good-girl roles. Bernard Hill, who did a great job in The Lord of the Rings plays Colt's father. Once again, he does what is needed of him, but is let down by the aforementioned dreadful script.

Despite this film being British made, they seem to have taken the decision to make England as middle-class and charming as possible, perhaps to appeal to the US markets and their misconception of what England is really like. I know tennis is often seen as the pass-time of the rich and well off, but here we see nothing but the champagne-swigging snobs, the charming gentlemen and the hat wearing ladies. This goes head on with Dunst's loud and rude Lizzie role, and the crass and arrogant Jake Hammond, whom is Colt's main rival both on and off the court (take note that both Lizzie and Jake are American). The crowd are so sedate it's laughable; this once again ties in with the stereotype Brit, reserved and polite. Can you imagine the unbridled mania of a British tennis player actually doing well in Wimbledon? Do you think the crowd would clap politely and shout "Talley-ho, good job old boy!" at the victor?

So where exactly is it that Wimbledon falls down? Probably in the fact that it exists in the first place! Taking a tired and dead format of "boy meets girl, falls in love, girl leaves/gets taken away, boy tries to win girl back" you are in for no surprises at all. This was made for the sake of making a film, and will be marketed with slogans such as "From the producer of Love Actually" in the hope of catching a few Richard Curtis fans unaware. Sure, this is not the worst film going, but it has to be the worst of the year so far.

Adam Maguire
Staff Writer, Kikizo Movies